The importance of being careful who you open up to; six types of people you should never confide in when you feel shame about something.

The danger of opening up to one of these people, is that the person can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm. The six types of friends who can make a shameful situation worse, not better:

1.The friend who actually feels shame for you, gasps and confirms how horrified you should be.

2.The friend who responds with sympathy ("I feel so sorry for you.") rather than empathy ("I get it, I feel with you and I've been there.")

3.The friend who needs you to be the pillar of worthiness and authenticity, who can't help because she's too disappointed in your imperfections.

4.The friend who is so uncomfortable with vulnerability that she scolds, "How did you let this happen?"

5.The friend who is all about making it better and, out of her own discomfort, refuses to acknowledge that you can actually make terrible choices ("You're exaggerating. It wasn't that bad.")

6.The friend who confuses connection with the opportunity to one-up you. ("Well, that's nothing. Listen what happened to me...")

“Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.” Brené Brown